Judgement Confronted

Why don't you believe me when I say I'm just like you? Why are you surprised when I speak on things you don't think I should know?

I was raised on the same streets you were. I bear the same scars.

We're one and the same, you and I, and yet I'm an outsider to you.

Beaten away, used, degraded. Scoffed at and Dismissed.

But I am not like you. I was raised on the same streets only I bear worse scars.

I have suffered from their hands and yours. Your laughter is my burden, my anguish your punch line.

For some I am too beautiful; for others too Ugly. My mirror is distorted now, what lies within came out.

My looking glass has lost its luster but my soul feeds on the flames.

I burn through my days and nights trying to hide the shame.

But the bird has risen from the ashes; stronger, wiser.

And I am still like you- I was raised on the same streets, only now I bear healing scars.

When you have no choice but to let go

All you can do is fall. And it's beautiful and astonishing to watch people catch you.

My Daddy Told me I can do Anything I set my Mind to- And I Can't Make him a Liar now can I?

My Dad tells me to this day, "You can do anything you set your mind to." I have always taken his advise to heart, and it really does work. Well, with the exception of bowling, basketball, and pool- no matter how hard I try I just am NOT good at those things- and therefore will put them out of my mind altogether to avoid the inner temper tantrum that always arises within my crazy skull (what do you mean I'm not good at EVERYTHING? That's absolute CRAP!").

I recently have received an offer from someone who wants to buy my first canvas (yes, I paint. I don't think I'm that good, I just use it as a hobby, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder I guess) and that got me to thinking, "What will I do next?" I have been paid to sing, dance, act, model, "clean" bovine pericardium (cow heart- yup. And yes, it is as disgusting as it sounds), along with all my other "normal" jobs. I mean, in this economy, with my health, and with someone my age- the dreaded 20-something (dun dun dun)- the money is definitely necessary; shoot, I could use a HELL of a lot more (as could we all), but my random acts of needing to express myself in some kind of artistic way have randomly been able to help me pay some of my bills and I have got to shout, "YAY!" But I keep scratching my head thinking, if I've done all that (and will undoubtedly continue to do so) what else am I going to dig into? I've recently become more and more interested in photography... I've been interested in that for a long time, I have photography books and LOVE taking pictures... I'm sure I'll scratch that itch soon.

While I feel so much older than I am, I'm not even thirty yet- I think this ride is just going to get more and more interesting, especially if I keep taking my Father's advice to heart. I mean, I can't make a liar out of him can I? Not to mention, it makes for a pretty interesting life for me :)