Apparenlty the universe doesn't want me to get laid- I call bullshit

So, I've been trying to do this thing called 'dating' (not exclusively, PS, more like, dating around) but everyone that I've had a few good times with apparently wants to be in a relationship: guh. Personally, I have no interest in having a relationship right now because I am emotionally exhausted from my last relationship and just want to have fun; and even though I make that clear to the people I go out with, they apparently want more than just good times, and then I have to say out loud that I don't want a relationship and that makes me feel like a complete asshole. Awesome. Gotta love that.

Anyway, I've also attempted to have mindless casual sex (to avoid the awkward situation outlined above), but apparently I'm HORRIBLE at it because I've not been able to have any. Guh. I've tried to, but people are either busy or too far, or too drunk to drive, or by the time push comes to shove I say,"to hell with it" and just go to sleep because it is just too much of a hassle. But the fact still remains that I'm not getting laid and for no reason that I can think of. Aren't men supposed to love the whole 'no strings attached' thing? Apparently the universe doesn't want me to have any 'no strings attached' relationships and I freaking call BULLSHIT because I can't be bothered to give a shit about anyone new right now. Sorry, but I can't, I've got enough of my own shit going on.

How true is all this? One of my best girlfriends and I went to go see the movie Burlesque (go see it, then go see my burlesque shows!!) and one of the previews had a scene where a girl just wants to have sex and the guy wants a relationship and she screams, "Why can't we just have sex!" at him, and my girlfriend busted up and said, "Oh my god it's your life!" So, yes, it's true, women have lost their emotions due to years of male abuse and emotional struggle and men now realize the advantages of being good to one woman at a time. What the hell? I don't want a man for Christmas I want sex for Christmas! Can we get it together here people! Jeez!