Shoe Fetish Challenge (Guess this means I should get a pedicure!)

I LOVE shoes!

Let's just get that out in the open. I will never have enough of them no matter how many I have. I could have a pair of shoes for every outfit! In fact, that would be ideal. The problem with this is I am NOT a morning person so I usually can't be bothered to look cute in the morning (or to be a nice person before coffee). There are no available guys at my work and- let's be honest here- even if there were, I still wouldn't care. I never wear make-up and I rock jeans, a tee-shirt, and my Rainbows (aka: the best sandals that money can buy) every day; so I usually end up looking like a damn hot mess. Exhibit A: Analysis: not cute! comfy, cozy even, but NOT cute.

Also, I'm single so I should probably step up the attractive factor (I have a strange vision of peacock feathers whenever I think of that), and I have all of these wonderful beautiful shoes that I wear when I go out or don't have to be somewhere first thing in the morning, but shoes are meant to be worn! Shoes are meant to be seen! Also, you can't rock awesome shoes without an awesome coordinating outfit, and it's almost impossible to feel down when you're outfit is bangin! All that being said, I have decided to wear a different pair of shoes every day until I have worn all my shoes. (This may take a while... probably about two months, I have A LOT of shoes.) I started yesterday, however I didn't know if I would stick to it or not, but here we are, day two and on the second pair of shoes, so it's official- I'm rockin' my footwear bitches!!!!! And here's what I've rocked so far:

Day 1: turquoise suede stilettos (3 1/2" heel) Day 2: rockin wedges (4 1/2" heel)

So let the Shoe Fetish Challenge begin! All hot shoes all the time! This is going to be awesome!

(Would anyone like to join me for a pedicure?)

Trouble with a Captial "T"

So, I don't know how it happens, but I always start out with the best intentions and then everything gets botched and I end up in trouble. My Sister insists it's because we were born into a family of crazies and we never had a chance- I'm beginning to think that she may be right... So last night... My sister was working near my work (she works for the Red Cross so she works somewhere different every day) and when she got off she came into my office. I was magically able to go home soon after she arrived, and my dance rehearsal for that night was cancelled- which left me with a night of nothing ahead of me- which is when I tend to get into trouble. But I digress. So, with an open schedule ahead of us we preceded to get not sober, then headed to the pool with our beers in hand, and more beers in our purses- oh yeah- we're that classy! So we drank and chatted and laughed poolside until the sun went down- then we went back to the pad. Once there, we decided to watch 'Cry Baby' because my sister is obsessed and demanded that I watch it (it ended up being pretty funny). But then we realized we were hungry and I didn't want to cook- plus it was taco Tuesday at Del Taco! Woo-hoo! So, Julie turned down walking to the Del Taco (it was right on the corner) and so she drove us. To get to the Del Taco, it's easiest to pass it then make a U-Turn- a U-Turn which, as it turns out, was an illegal U-Turn, whoopsie! So we see the flashing lights in the rear and we start freaking out a little (the beers and fear of a DUI started to kick in right about then...) and when the cop rolls up he informs us of the illegal status of our U-Turn, then asks us to get out of the car (we did NOT pee our pants I am proud to say!) and walks us to the sidewalk where he shows us the no U-Turn sign (which was on the island before the turn, not on the island in front of the turn- we just didn't see it! Arrgghhh!!!). Long story short, we almost died from fear but were let off with a warning. At that point, Del Taco felt cursed so I said, "To hell with it, let's just go to Carl's, it's across from my complex. So we head to Carl's (which requires another U-Turn to enter- EEK!) and while we were waiting to make the U-turn I discovered a spider crawling on the INSIDE of the windshield. Both of us are deathly afraid of spiders- ps. So now we are freaking out about the spider, and freaking out because the cop was probably still around and now we're REALLY going to jail. Well, the spider gets it, and we drive on. Julie wants me to throw the squished spider napkin out the window, but I'm afraid to get pulled over for littering. So we're driving in a direction that won't take us to food at this point, and we're too full of crazy to keep driving, so we decide to give up and go home (which needed yet another U-Turn- AAAGGGHHHH!!! WHY GOD!) with nothing and just order a pizza- which ended up being far more difficult than it needed to be. Moral of the story- without ever understanding how, I always end up in trouble. And not little amounts of trouble either, trouble with a capital "T" trouble. I should change my middle name accordingly.

Doing Just Fine

I have a lot of stuff going on in my life at the moment- both work related and personal, and it's a lot for just one person to handle. But why is it that when people ask how we are doing we always say, "fine"- even when we aren't? Is it pride? Pure stubbornness? The inability to admit that we need help? Some sick combination of all three? It's probably the sick combination of the three for me to be quite honest.

Every time I tell people that I'm doing "fine" I always think of the movie The Italian Job. Thanks to that movie I have discovered the meaning of the word: fine.

Freaked out
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional


So really, when I tell people I'm doing fine, I guess I really am.

Diversity or Encouraged Racism?

I work in the recruitment business, and OFCCP compliance (encouraged affirmative action in hiring/recruiting) seems to be a "hot" term that is losing a bit of it's steam, however people and recruiters are still posting their job requisitions to "diversity boards" with enthusiasm (in fact, if you hold a contract with the Federal Government you HAVE to post your jobs to "diversity job boards") such as 'National Society for Black Engineers,'Society of Women Engineers,' 'Black Women Lawyers Association,' 'LatinosForHire,' 'Asian American Bar Association of New York,' 'Minority Nurse.com,' 'Disabled Persons,''Black Actuaries' (these are just a few, the list goes on and on and on)- but these job boards are exclusive by name alone let alone their posting policies. Shouldn't our target audience for jobs be qualified candidates who are out of work or in need of a new opportunity? Why does race matter? Why are minorities targeted? Isn't the point of overcoming racism to not see someone as a member of a specific race or minority group but as a PERSON?

"We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal." Our country was founded on this idea, it's in our Declaration of Independence, and just as we did before the Civil Rights Movement we're ignoring that "self-evident" truth. When recruiters and HR professionals are looking for people to hire in their workplace they are using the idea that they need to fill a "race quota" to ensure that they are, in fact, an equal opportunity employer, when the idea of equality for all would be better upheld by looking at all the candidates equally and making a decision based upon work experience or education rather than taking race as a top priority above these necessary skills. When looking at resumes, or searching for candidates, shouldn't we be looking for QUALIFIED candidates rather than MINORITY candidates? Am I the only one who sees the failure of logic in this Affirmative Action/OFCCP Compliance concept?

Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream, "that [his] four little children [would] one day live in a nation where they [would] not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." And unfortunately, all these years later, they are still living in a nation where they are being judged by the color of their skin rather than the content of the resume. Whether or not they can skew this information in their favor is not the material point, because they can, people can use the fact that they are a minority to be hired over a possibly more qualified "non-minority" candidate. The point is that the color of their skin is still a hot topic, a must know, and point of JUDGEMENT that determines whether or not you will even be considered for a position.

Is anyone else seeing signs reading, "Irish need not apply" or hear ignorant mouths saying, "we don't serve your kind here?"

Even the idea of a "minority" group is pure ludicrous. EVERYONE is a member of a minority group. Any time you are taking one specific thing into account against a whole group of things, you are going to get a minority. One piece of an apple is not the entire apple, my race is only a small part of who and what I am, it has NOTHING to do with what I am capable of, and when one piece of data is pitted against the rest of the qualifying data, of course the outcome of the test is going to be a minority, because in the vast scheme of things, that is only a part of the bigger picture.

In order to become truly inclusive and accepting we must stop putting people into categories of race, or minorities. By looking at everyone equally you will automatically come upon a diverse workplace because you are openly accepting all applicants. The moment you begin taking other matters into account you are skewing your own results. Denying someone a job, the right to work, or to even consider their application based upon race IS RACISM! To specifically target a certain minority is EXCLUSIVE and RACIST. If I put my resume on 'Black Actuaries.com' it would be taken down for no other reason than my not being the "right" race for that site- THAT IS RACISM!

These compliance laws are encouraging racism in our workplace, they are keeping the idea that "race matters" alive. How are we supposed to look past the cover and read the book when no one stops talking about the importance of the cover and no one seems to think reading the book is as important as the color chosen to bind it?

If that wasn't enough to convince you, see the ad below that was advertised on a "diversity" site:

Ode to Closure

After eight years of hearing doctors say, "I have no idea what is wrong with you" they have finally stumbled upon the answer; and frankly, despite knowing I will quite literally be suffering for the rest of my life, I'm relieved.

No more frustration over not knowing, no more, how, why, when, will I evers. I have an answer. I can seek the answers, gain the knowledge, be as well as I can be. I am no longer a slave to the unknown, and while I am still a slave to the condition, I have been given a crucial tool for a slave's survival- KNOWLEDGE.

You can't battle your demons in the dark- trust me, I've been trying for eight years. It feels like someone has turned on a light-switch. I keep saying the word over and over again in my head, rolling the feel of it around in my brain, in my mouth, and over my tongue.

It feels like it's always been there. And while in a sense, it has, the word is new, and yet it is so at home in my life- not even 24 hours later.

No more do I have to ask, "why" and hear: "I don't know." Now I can ask, "how" and be presented with options.

Today I am choosing to be blindingly optimistic about something that could be dismal, because, to me, just being given a diagnosis was a god-send.

Closure doesn't signify the end of something. It allows you to close a door knowing it should and can be closed. It gives you hope. Life is about renewal. Life and Death, beginnings and endings. Closure allows you to hope for something new and different. Closure brings hope for a future rather than the pain of the present and the haunting sadness and regret of the past.

Closure is a gift for which I am thankful.

To Puke or not to Puke

I've been debating with myself for about an hour now whether or not I should puke
(I'm at work by the way, and pissed because I thought the days of being so sick I had to puke were behind me, guess I was wrong), and puking has won. Again.

Constant nausea is a bitch, let me tell you :(

Hilarity from Hoag Hospital

So today I went in for x-rays, and I just find the hilarity in everyday life, and I thought I'd share it with you today. Enjoy!

When I was "checking in" with the "receptionist" who was taking all my information she asked me if I had been here before. I responded with, "Yup, I'm in medical offices so much I should be dating a doctor by now." Her response: "Well honey, there's still a chance."

Bahahahahahahahahaha!!! That was probably my favorite.

While in the waiting room I once again felt the need to stress the fact that I feel our Health Care system should work just like frequent flyer miles, the more you use it the more you get for free. Like, two office visits gets you free blood work or something. I need more perks in my health care FOR SURE!

When the unsuspecting young asian radiologist took me back he said, "Okay Miss Wallace I need you to remove your pants and your bra." I'm telling you, his face when I said, "Yeah, I've heard that before" was PRICELESS. hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha

Sometimes I say or do things just to watch it happen. Not gonna lie. And that was just one of those times you can't pass up.

He also got VERY flustered when he lost his marker in my horrible loaner x-ray pants, which was hi-larious. Keeping a straight face was difficult to say the least. Poor kid.

He also apologized when I had to stay in a position that aggravated my pain, and really, "It's okay, that's why I'm here." No really, he was worried, but honey, that is why I'm getting the x-ray in the first place, stop flustering and push the "go" button and get on with it. I can take the pain. It's fine, promise.

Also, the idiot doctor from my last post may have ordered me an s1 x-ray rather than an si x-ray. IDIOT!!!!!!!