Trouble with a Captial "T"

So, I don't know how it happens, but I always start out with the best intentions and then everything gets botched and I end up in trouble. My Sister insists it's because we were born into a family of crazies and we never had a chance- I'm beginning to think that she may be right... So last night... My sister was working near my work (she works for the Red Cross so she works somewhere different every day) and when she got off she came into my office. I was magically able to go home soon after she arrived, and my dance rehearsal for that night was cancelled- which left me with a night of nothing ahead of me- which is when I tend to get into trouble. But I digress. So, with an open schedule ahead of us we preceded to get not sober, then headed to the pool with our beers in hand, and more beers in our purses- oh yeah- we're that classy! So we drank and chatted and laughed poolside until the sun went down- then we went back to the pad. Once there, we decided to watch 'Cry Baby' because my sister is obsessed and demanded that I watch it (it ended up being pretty funny). But then we realized we were hungry and I didn't want to cook- plus it was taco Tuesday at Del Taco! Woo-hoo! So, Julie turned down walking to the Del Taco (it was right on the corner) and so she drove us. To get to the Del Taco, it's easiest to pass it then make a U-Turn- a U-Turn which, as it turns out, was an illegal U-Turn, whoopsie! So we see the flashing lights in the rear and we start freaking out a little (the beers and fear of a DUI started to kick in right about then...) and when the cop rolls up he informs us of the illegal status of our U-Turn, then asks us to get out of the car (we did NOT pee our pants I am proud to say!) and walks us to the sidewalk where he shows us the no U-Turn sign (which was on the island before the turn, not on the island in front of the turn- we just didn't see it! Arrgghhh!!!). Long story short, we almost died from fear but were let off with a warning. At that point, Del Taco felt cursed so I said, "To hell with it, let's just go to Carl's, it's across from my complex. So we head to Carl's (which requires another U-Turn to enter- EEK!) and while we were waiting to make the U-turn I discovered a spider crawling on the INSIDE of the windshield. Both of us are deathly afraid of spiders- ps. So now we are freaking out about the spider, and freaking out because the cop was probably still around and now we're REALLY going to jail. Well, the spider gets it, and we drive on. Julie wants me to throw the squished spider napkin out the window, but I'm afraid to get pulled over for littering. So we're driving in a direction that won't take us to food at this point, and we're too full of crazy to keep driving, so we decide to give up and go home (which needed yet another U-Turn- AAAGGGHHHH!!! WHY GOD!) with nothing and just order a pizza- which ended up being far more difficult than it needed to be. Moral of the story- without ever understanding how, I always end up in trouble. And not little amounts of trouble either, trouble with a capital "T" trouble. I should change my middle name accordingly.