The last breathe of confidence

I feel like my confidence is dying- I'm overwhelmed, making mistakes, not getting enough done... and it's starting to take it's toll.

My confidence is on it's last breathe, as is my sanity and professionalism... I'm trying CPR- let's all hope it works shall we? One more personal/professional crisis and I'm a gonner.

All I want to do is go back to bed, but I can't... too much to fix, too much to accomplish (notice the imperative words "too much")

Why you don't hassle a Heifer, article: 852,346

My car insurance tried to screw me over- to which I essentially replied with, "OOH HEEELLLL TO THE NOOOO!!!" and they said, "you know what, you're right" to which I replied "FUCKING RIGHT!"

Enjoy! And remember: DOWN WITH THE MAN! DON'T LET THOSE BASTARDS GET YOU!! :)

Hi Joe,

Now having a few moments to consider our conversation and the situation, I am becoming more concerned over my need to pay anything back. I understand your position as a company, however, I would like to formally state my objections to the reimbursement expectation.

I was rear-ended with the force of two vehicles, all that I am guilty of is being in the wrong place at the wrong time. As a result, I went through a serious Fibromialgia Flare-up and sought Chiropractic Care because I was assured it would be taken care of by the insurance company- I was either led to believe or misunderstood that the said insurance company was the company that covered the person who caused the accident- I was not aware that these amounts were being taken from (or associated with) MY policy as I had NOTHING to do with the accident. Someone hit the person behind me, and that person slammed into me- this gives TWO OTHER insurance companies that could be liable for the payment of my claim, and yet were not. Were they even addressed with this issue or did you automatically associate the costs to my account? Had I been better informed that A) these expenses were being associated with my policy rather than the policy of the person who caused the accident, I would have suffered with minimum treatment as the monetary obligations that come with health care are not always feasible; B) I would have been expected to pay these expenses back I would have suffered without seeking ANY treatment for the same reason previously outlined. As a direct result of your inattention or deliberate misleading in this situation I have officially been given more problems from the seeking of treatment than it was worth.

Again, as a working professional (HR/Office Manager for an international company) I very much understand your company's position, however I do not agree with it. I find it partially immoral and certainly without consideration for the person you are demanding payment from. The accident happened in October of 2009, and I heard nothing further about it after I initiated chiropractic care. Again, that was two years ago, however, it wasn't until a few months ago that I was re-contacted about this accident and pretty much encouraged to seek a Bodily Injuries Claim from the offending driver's insurance company. Once I did so, I was then informed that because I received such a claim that the money allocated towards my medical treatment needed to be paid back- this was never previously outlined nor given as even a distinct possibility. To me, this looks like a premeditated action for the receipt of funds by your company as well as the deliberate withholding of information that directly involved myself and my paycheck. If that is the case you should be absolutely ashamed of yourselves. If this is not the case, you should still be embarrassed over the lack of care being given (or not given as the case may be) to your paying customers. Either way, I am left not only with a feeling of being manipulated, but also of being mistreated (whether by negligence or malice doesn't much matter at this point) by your staff in the handling of this matter.

As previously stated, I have Fibromialgia, a serious and barely manageable disease in it's own right; however, I also have IBS, Tendinitis in both wrists, Sacroillitis, and I also suffer from depression- as you can imagine, treating these conditions is costly- the money that was given to me from the Bodily Injuries claim went to pay off medical bills associated with my several conditions and not a lot is left. While I do appreciate your willingness to work out a payment plan, I have no intention of paying the $133/month for 15 months until I have been satisfied that it is moral and right for me to do so (and yes, I am leaving the burden of proof to you), and also after I have been assured that all avenues to reclaim this money from someone/somewhere else have been exhausted. Please note that it is not my explicit intent to be difficult or deny payment; and if you can prove to me that it is right and moral for me to abide by the aforementioned payment plan I will do so. This is a SUBSTANTIAL amount of money to be paid over a LONG period of time, and yet I had NO warning of even the possibility of it, no time to budget- NOTHING.

This is what bothers me most: you, as a company, are expecting me to give you a very large out-of-pocket expense over a very long period of time with an extremely tardy and slippery explanation in what has been a bit of a deceiving process without even a by-your-leave. Under the circumstances I find the expectation of payment both impractical and callous. Please discuss my case with your Supervisors/Managers and come back to me.

Regards,

(A very pissed off Heifer Walrus)


To which they replied 10 days later:

Hello Heather,

Progressive Choice Insurance Co agrees to waive the Medpay subrogation claim of $2,000.00 for you and your accident of 10-6-09. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to email me.

Thank You,

Joe



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I WIN!!!!! YEEESSSSS!!!!!

Advocacy- Today we focused on Fibromialgia

As is evident by my previous posts and countless verbal rants, I believe in advocacy.

BY THE PEOPLE FOR THE PEOPLE! TELL OUR GOVERNMENT WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT ISN'T WORKING, WHAT YOU NEED!!! IF YOU DON'T TELL THEM THE CHANGES WON'T BE MADE!!!

GET ACTIVE DAMMIT!

I did. Today I sent the following email to Our President, my Govener, Representative, and Senators, YOU SHOULD SEND THEM LETTERS TOO!

If you don't know how to contact your ELECTED officials, you may use this site: http://www.usa.gov/Contact/Elected.shtml

8/11/2011

Dear Mr. President,

My name is "Heifer Walrus". I am a 25 year old SWF living-and struggling- with Fibromyalgia (FM(S)) in CA. For the last nine years I have had countless doctors tell me that they had “no idea” what was causing my chronic pain, nausea, and fatigue; this caused not only frustration but financial hardship as I was spending so much money (despite the fact that I am lucky enough to have, and have had, health care insurance. My current plan is the Blue Shield PPO 500 plan) on specialists, medications, and treatments that did not provide substantial relief if any relief at all. There were periods when I was seeing three different specialists a month trying to figure out what was the matter with me. Several months ago I was finally given a diagnosis from a Rheumatologist: Fibromyalgia further complicated by hyperextension. This was the cause of the aforementioned symptoms as well as my previously diagnosed Sacroiliitis, Tendonitis, and Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS).

Ninety percent of my day I am nauseas and in some kind of pain- my average pain level is a five these days. Luckily, I am still able to work; however, it is difficult, and getting through my day is exhausting and all too often physically and emotionally painful. To date, I have tried more than forty different pain and nausea medications with no success. The only thing that I have found that completely eases my symptoms is Medical Marijuana. I do not medicate at work for obvious reasons, but this medication has been the only thing that has saved me from a life of loneliness and misery. My Fibromyalgia symptoms make me very anti-social, I just want to stay in bed all day and suffer alone, I have no energy to even ask for help; Medical Marijuana helps me to manage my symptoms, put them on my mind’s “back-burner” and allows me to get on with my life.

My first point of advocacy in this letter is to urge you to both decriminalize marijuana, and legalize Medicinal Marijuana on a federal level.

I urge you to consider this legislative move as it could help the other 10 Million Americans (http://fmaware.org/site/PageServera6cc.html?pagename=fibromyalgia_affected) who also suffer from this incurable disease have access to a medicine that could help them manage their symptoms. The fact that it is completely natural only adds to the allure. Additionally, making Medicinal Marijuana legal in all states allows those of us who do carry prescriptions in our/their own States (where it is legal), access to our/their medication when they travel to states where it is not. It will also keep us from having to pay the “prescription fee” in every state we travel to- another financial burden placed on those with this horrible disease.

Last year I traveled more frequently than usual, both for work and for pleasure, and when I traveled to states where I was not able to access my medication- the only medication that has proven to help me manage my symptoms, I was miserable. I frequently vomited, was bed ridden, and had to take several breaks while trying to do normal everyday tasks and activities. My quality of life was directly affected by the fact that my medicine was not available to me. Had I had access to my medication, or the knowledge that my possessing my medication would not land me in jail or with a criminal record, I would have had a completely different experience in my travels. I don’t want to feel like a criminal because I am sick and have finally found something that works- and that is exactly what the current legislation suggests I am when I am outside of my home state of California. Even in California it is implied despite my protection under the Medical Marijuana laws. This isn’t right. Everyone should be able to have access to medication that works for them, and they shouldn’t have to feel ashamed or frightened to feel better.

My second point of advocacy in regards to this letter, is to urge you to push Health Care and Insurance companies to cover more Fibromyalgia-suggested treatments in their coverage as an addition to their standard coverage.

As previously stated, I currently have a Blue Shield insurance plan, and yet the things that my doctor suggested as a treatment plan (acupuncture, massages, and chiropractor visits every two weeks- each) are not currently covered in my plan. As I cannot afford ANY of these treatments without insurance taking the majority of the financial burden away from me, I am left to suffer without them and with no alternative treatment plans other than Meloxicam (anti-inflammatory), Soma (muscle relaxer) and Cymbalta (anti-depressant used to “treat” fibromyalgia patients)- none of which (either independently or in conjunction with one another) make my symptoms no more than a “manageable” level. I currently have no other options available to me. My family has no money, I am struggling on my own as is in this economy, and I have no way to follow the treatment plan given to me by my doctor because of the limitations in our corrupt and broken “Health Care” system.

Without these changes, I, and the other ten million Americans just like me, will continue to have a limited quality of life through no fault of our own and with no other options available to us.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter, I hope that it has given you some additional insight into the needs of your fellow Countrymen.

I will be more than happy to answer any and all questions/comments/correspondence in regards to this, or any other of the several letters that have been sent to your attention by my hand.

Very kind regards,

me


I also listed ALL of my contact information so they could contact me.

Maybe this time someone actually will....

The Many Faces of Me

I have a blogging Alias, a Burlesque alias, A modeling alias, and then there's me- what I use for the everyday, don't have to hide from Dad/Grandma stuff.

I'm still laughing about this. I think I'll laugh myself to death over this.

"Who would you like to speak with today?" I feel like that show The United States of Tara, I'm someone different depending on the day, who I'm speaking to, and what I'm doing. I always feel like me, obviously, and I'm not uncomfortable with anything that I'm doing, by my family is so religious I have to seriously censor my activities to keep them from dying from shame. Lame. But hey, it's politics.

In the mean time I'll just go to my laughing place...

Judgement Confronted

Why don't you believe me when I say I'm just like you? Why are you surprised when I speak on things you don't think I should know?

I was raised on the same streets you were. I bear the same scars.

We're one and the same, you and I, and yet I'm an outsider to you.

Beaten away, used, degraded. Scoffed at and Dismissed.

But I am not like you. I was raised on the same streets only I bear worse scars.

I have suffered from their hands and yours. Your laughter is my burden, my anguish your punch line.

For some I am too beautiful; for others too Ugly. My mirror is distorted now, what lies within came out.

My looking glass has lost its luster but my soul feeds on the flames.

I burn through my days and nights trying to hide the shame.

But the bird has risen from the ashes; stronger, wiser.

And I am still like you- I was raised on the same streets, only now I bear healing scars.

When you have no choice but to let go

All you can do is fall. And it's beautiful and astonishing to watch people catch you.

My Daddy Told me I can do Anything I set my Mind to- And I Can't Make him a Liar now can I?

My Dad tells me to this day, "You can do anything you set your mind to." I have always taken his advise to heart, and it really does work. Well, with the exception of bowling, basketball, and pool- no matter how hard I try I just am NOT good at those things- and therefore will put them out of my mind altogether to avoid the inner temper tantrum that always arises within my crazy skull (what do you mean I'm not good at EVERYTHING? That's absolute CRAP!").

I recently have received an offer from someone who wants to buy my first canvas (yes, I paint. I don't think I'm that good, I just use it as a hobby, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder I guess) and that got me to thinking, "What will I do next?" I have been paid to sing, dance, act, model, "clean" bovine pericardium (cow heart- yup. And yes, it is as disgusting as it sounds), along with all my other "normal" jobs. I mean, in this economy, with my health, and with someone my age- the dreaded 20-something (dun dun dun)- the money is definitely necessary; shoot, I could use a HELL of a lot more (as could we all), but my random acts of needing to express myself in some kind of artistic way have randomly been able to help me pay some of my bills and I have got to shout, "YAY!" But I keep scratching my head thinking, if I've done all that (and will undoubtedly continue to do so) what else am I going to dig into? I've recently become more and more interested in photography... I've been interested in that for a long time, I have photography books and LOVE taking pictures... I'm sure I'll scratch that itch soon.

While I feel so much older than I am, I'm not even thirty yet- I think this ride is just going to get more and more interesting, especially if I keep taking my Father's advice to heart. I mean, I can't make a liar out of him can I? Not to mention, it makes for a pretty interesting life for me :)

What I've had to eat today

Does Jameson neat count as a meal?

Sometimes I get really introverted

I'm really glad I stopped when I did. Well... I didn't stop everything, I kept partying until I physically couldn't anymore (and that picks up when I can- not gonna lie), but I did stop hanging around people who should have been in prison, stopped thinking misdemeanors was a first date, and generally stayed out of the black areas of society. I knew if I kept doing what I was doing I'd either get pinched or killed. Plus, it's scary when you realize you're mind is criminally programmed. Everything is just so easy, comes so naturally, nothing seems to be "wrong"- and because of my looks I pretty much get away with just about everything. ("It's so easy, easy, when everybody's tryin' to please me baby.") Now I just dance in the grey... I like that a lot better. I'm not the kind of girl who can live life by anyone else's rules, I have to make my own. My life is my life, it's not what you want or expect it to be.

Sometimes I think I read Rock Star bios to remind myself of two things:

1) Why I shouldn't do hard drugs. I'm a firm believer in, "If it grows out of the ground it's probably okay" but the rest of that shit terrifies me, and I think I keep feeding myself healthy doses of fear to keep myself in check. (I learned a new little nugget last night reading The Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx- cocaine causes psychosis. Note to self: never do coke! Jesus!)

2) Even if I do go past the brink I can come back. If they can survive worse circles of hell than I ever imagined then I should be fine. Or, if not fine, I know can come back, because they did.

Life is all about balance. Ying and Yang. Life and Death. Chaos and order. I will say that if you have never trashed public property (or done some equally gratifying illegal maneuver) you haven't lived (the RUSH!!!). But you also haven't lived until you've loved someone. Party while you can; drink, do drugs, fuck strangers, live in sin- live your life how you want to live it, but if you can't do all that while still maintaining loving relationships with your friends and family or holding a job you're out of control because you aren't keeping that balance within yourself. Once that balance starts to tip you start to loose control. And it doesn't even have to be towards the dark, if you get too into religion to the point where you loose tolerance then you need to check yourself. If you don't do anything except drugs then you need to check yourself. You can teeter-totter between black and white, most do, but staying in one area too long is no good.

I could go on forever, I'll stop blathering on now.

It's like a punch in the stomach- EVERY TIME

I left my ex last year because he lied to me about wanting kids and I have "empty womb" syndrome and have always wanted to be a Mom. When they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up in Kindergarten I told them, "A Mom." I always thought I'd grow up, get married and have kids. However there have been a few curves in that road... more in the last year than ever.

My family is not that healthy. Attractive and smart, but between both sides we have every illness in the book. No really. EVERY ONE.

Every time my doctor tells me something else is wrong with me or I find out someone in my family has been diagnosed with something else or needs another surgery it's like a punch in the stomach. I personally don't feel well most of the time- I spend about 80% of my day in pain and/or nauseous- I don't want that for my kids. I don't want them to get cancer or need surgery or to see doctors and specialists every month (as most of my family does); it doesn't seem fair to me to bring someone into the world when you know they aren't going to live a healthy life. It doesn't seem responsible. I don't want this life for me or for my family- including future members.

That leaves me with two things to think about:

1) Adoption. Will that be enough for me? If we are ill will we even have the resources and/or life span to care for an addition to the family? I'd love to think that of course it will be enough for me I'll love them the same, but what if I still have aching womb syndrome after adopting? What if something happens to me and I can't provide for the child? Not only did I go out of my way to raise a child but I intentionally brought them into a household where their caregiver(s) aren't healthy- will this impact their upbringing? Is it fair to bring someone into that? (Yes I'm being dramatic but I'm young and these things only get worse with age so you have to look at the whole picture.)

And then there is my personal favorite, question 2) Did I make the right choice leaving my ex now that I know kids aren't necessarily the best thing for me or even in the cards? We had our problems (ie: he had no ambition, etc.) but without the added pressure and expectations of marriage and a family would things have been different?

It just hurts. To go through the pain and indecision over and over and over again. It's exhausting, and painful, and I fucking hate crying so can these things just stop coming up already? It's bad enough dealing with an ill family but having to throw these questions on top of it is a bit much don't you think?

So I just keep telling myself that I'm better off, I DID make the right choice, and that someday health insurance will get better. (Because all these bills SUCK!)

If anyone has any insight into the future give me a call- I could use some serious insight.

Shoe Fetish Challenge: Days 35-44

Day 35, Saturday, crazy summer straps (2" heel)

My Mom actually gave me these shoes in one of her attempts to "bond" with me. Of course this involves giving me an old pair of her shoes and then going on being a horrible mother, but I digress. They are a little to the left of my usual style, they are a little to long in the front, and I usually like a little higher of a heel, but hey, I'm a shoe whore and I'll try out most shoes. I think these shoes are okay, but I don't really see myself wearing them very often.

Day 36, Sunday, barefoot hippy strikes again (no shoes)

Lazy Sundays are my favorite, I usually lounge around, clean house, lay out, and generally do a whole lot of nothing- gotta love that.

Day 37, Monday, hot boots, holla! (3 1/2" heel)

These are probably my favorite pair of boots. I've danced in them, broke a few hearts in them, busted some moves, and downed some drinks. they are super comfortable, and stop a little above mid-calf, so they allow me to rock patterned socks- and can I just tell you how much I love rockin' ridiculous socks? NO ONE rocks socks- which is why I like to :)

Day 38, Tuesday, Harley Davidson boots, pair deux (2 1/4" heel)

These are the more comfortable of the two pairs (there were three, but they were given away when I bought my third pair- they were just like these but without the flair), however I like the height and the flames on the other pair so I tend to wear them more often, but I love these boots, love love love.

Day 39, Wednesday, dollhouse Fleur de lis flats

:: Sings:: I got it at Ross! And I did too! I totally got these babies at Ross, and I've had them for a few years now. One of the Fleur de lis emblems did break free on one side, but a little Monkey Glue fixed that right up! And while they make my feet sweat a little (patent leather, what can you do), they are so adorable I don't care. Plus you can slip your heel out when you're sitting or standing so you can air your feet out quickly and easily so it isn't much of an issue.

Day 40, Thursday, the most beautiful shoes in Christendom (3" heels)

I found these shoes when I went to Italy when I was 18. We were shopping in Rome and I found these shoes in three colors: pink, green, and blue, and I thought for a good ten minutes about which color I wanted (they were too expensive to buy all three- FUUUCCCKKK) and tried on pair after pair until I figured out what shoe size ACTUALLY fit me (I think these are a 34- for those of you who are around a size 7, when in Europe start with a 34 and go up from there until you find a compatible size) and then I ran my ass up to the cash register and bought them faster than you can say, "HOT DAMN!"

These shoes are glorious. Stunning stitching, sequins, amazing spring colors- they are so fabulous I can't even take it!

These are actually the shoes that made me get over my aversion to toe-cleavage. I used to not like toe cleavage, I thought it deterred from the classiness of the shoe, but these shoes leave toe-cleavage, and I couldn't resist them, and from that day forward I no longer had an issue with toe-cleavage.

Day 41, Friday, 50's pumps (3" heel)

These shoes are too cute! Like my leopard pumps, they are specifically built with the natural curve of your foot so they are really comfortable. The only issue I had with these shoes was technically just an all around crazy story that never should have happened but of course did. Before I went to the HR Tech conference last year I was going to cut my toe nails and give myself a pedi- instead I packed closed-toed shoes. I wore them walking all around the conference (like, 3 miles of walking, for those of you who have been to a conference you get it), then I was invited last minute to diner with a potential client- leaving me with no time to change outfit or shoes. Then we started drinking. Then we started dancing. Then we started drunkenly exploring the hotel.

My toenails were SOOOO fucked up after that! One actually fell off, but with too long nails and 12 hours of working my shit something bad was bound to happen. What can you do ::shrug::

Day 42, Saturday, Photo shoot! Red pumps (5 1/2" heel)!

I've actually worn these shoes for two photo shoots now- those platform high heels make my midget legs look much longer than they are- hooray! Hahahahaha!

I bought these shoes two or three years ago in December on my friend Ginger Fatal's birthday. The boys let us walk from dinner to Lucky Strike Lanes by ourselves while they got things out of the car, and we walked right into a shoe store, where all three of us bought new kicks and put them on right then and there (Ginger and I even switched tops so we could wear our shoes with something that matched- handy that). We then walked into our next destination wearing new wonderful shoes, then we put on bowling shoes. Hahahaha, we're silly :)

Day 43, Sunday: Pewter Flats

You can't wear these shoes too long or they'll tear up the back of your heels, they are NOT walking shoes, but they are cute slip ons for non-walking activities.

Purchased at Macy's, shocker.

Day 44, Monday: Dance Shoes (4" heel)

we've got a lot of dance rehearsals coming up which means LOTS of time spent in these shoes- watch out world, The Dirty Little Secrets Rock Burlesque Troupe is coming to town! xoxo

And yes, I do bust my burlesque moves in a 4" heel, fuckin' RIGHT!

Shoe Fetish Challenge: Days 24-34

Once again I have come across the problem of wearing cute shoes OUT rather than staying in and blogging about it, oh well! Here is what I've been steppin' out in lately:

Tuesday, day 24: Pumas (flats)

These are my least favorite pair of shoes. First of all, they aren't really my style and secondly, they are too white. I fucking HATE white shoes! (Yes, my vendetta against the color white continues, I have actually stopped dating guys because they wore white shoes- I couldn't be bothered to look at their hideous shoes. Sorry.) Plus, I'm not really a "Puma" sort of girl. As previously discussed, I'm a Converse kind of a girl. I'm from the OC, not LA. But these were on sale at Ross a few years back so I use them as my exercise shoes because they are far cuter than exercise shoes- aka the most hideous shoes made today (soooo ugly). I did take these shoes to NYC, and they held up pretty well and don't look bad in my pictures (WHEW!). They're good shoes, just not really my style.

Wednesday, day 25: Grey Pumps (3" heel)

These shoes were actually inherited by Rayanne, my Marketing Director. They're just a little big so I need to go get those heel pad things, but overall, excellent inheritence! And they are my only pair of grey shoes! Plus, they aren't just grey, they are cloth- kind of like wool, which is cool!

Thanks Ray!

Thursday, day 26: Hot Pink Stilletos (3 1/4" heel)

Hello Ken, my name is Barbie. Don't I look fabulous?

Yup, that's what I thought you said.

(Damn these shoes are SO FUN! I LOVE THESE SHOES!!!)

Friday, day 27: leopard print Mary Janes (oh yeah baby)

(Ignore my brat of a cat in the corner of this picture. She loves shoes just like her mama and she insists on rubbing all over them)

I like my shoes with a bit of sass, what can I say? I'm a sassy kind of girl ;)

Saturday, day 28: Photo Shoot- lots of shoes were worn, and not all of them were mine (yup, I'm permiscuous)

The shoes in this pic are Caitlins, they are like 6" and I totally ate it wearing them! I went to go talk to the photographer and the heel got stuck in one of the cracks in the ground and I went DOWN! But I jumped right back up like a trooper so it's all good! ahahahaha

Sunday, day 29: Slippers that are technically shoes

I was tired and sore from the photo shoot and did not want to leave the house, but had to do some housework, so I decided to wear house shoes. Oh yeah. I've had these since high school and they're still in good shape! Target purchase win! (Well, aren't all purchases from Target a win? Let's be real.)

Monday, day 30: Vintage flats

Got these from a GoodWill, they pinch a little bit when I wear them for a long time, but they are cute so I don't really care that much.

Tuesday, day 31: Sick face- no shoes were worn

I didn't even wear socks! Hahahaha!

Wednesday, day 32: Awful shoes that didn't last the day (3 1/2" heel)

I actually bought these shoes with all the other Bridesmaids for my girlfriend Laura's wedding a few years ago- and they are fine for the first ten minutes, then you realize these shoes were made by a man who has no idea where you need to place your weight in heels in order to balance yourself properly. Whoever made these shoes is an idiot! I always think, "Oh, they aren't that bad." When I've tried to give them a second chance, well, they still suck and I'm donating them tonight! DONE-ZO!!!

Thursday, day 33: Michael Kors- every woman's dream (5" heel) <3

I have the best boss E-VER! He's from England and last Thanksgiving he decided to show thanks, and he knows how much I love shoes, so he tricked me into going to the Macy's shoe section (one of my favorite places as I'm sure you've noticed) by saying he was picking out shoes for his wife and he wanted my opinion as a woman and shoe expert. Then he told me he was buying me a pair of shoes to show his thanks for helping him at work and when he first got here to be accustomed to America.

Isn't that cute?! Everyone takes Thanksgiving for granted and I thought it was the sweetest gesture showing the true meaning of the day. It was awesome.

Plus I'm in LOVE with Michael Kors and have only not fallen in love with like, two things that he's made. I LOVE HIM. Bags, shoes, clothes, scents, the man has TASTE!!! Yummy!!

Today, day 34: Rainbows repeat

I either had one to many beers last night or I just woke up tired, because I could not be bothered to wear actual pants (yeah leggings!), a bra, or shoes today. And yes, I did go to work like this. My job is awesome. I may go out in a pair of shoes tonight now that I have caffeine in my system.

Shoe Fetish Challenge- Days 17-23

So apparently when I'm busy I'm horrible at blogging! I've been keeping up with wearing the shoes, but I have not been keeping up with the blogs! (And I've been told I need to get on it) so here they are, the last unblogged about yet worn shoes

Wednesday: beige heels (3 1/2" heel)

Yes, these are also scrateched from the clutch/brake game. Like I said before, most of my heels are. Because, yes, I can drive stick, yes, I can wear rediculous heels, and yes, I can do both of those things at the same time.

Thursday: black riding boots (flats)

Dammit I love these boots! They are a size too big, but they were 50% off (DAMN YOU MACY'S!!! DAMN YOU!!! No wait! I take it back! I LOVE YOU MACY'S!!!!) so I bought them anyway and just wear an extra pair of thick socks. Whatev. Lol!

Friday: Ugg boots (flats)

I had the day off, and I didn't do much but have a date with sarah, so I just wore Uggs.

P.S.: I got these at a Goodwill for $25!!!! HOLLA!!!!!! They have a small hole in them, but really, who cares! I got Uggs for CHEAP!!

Saturday: boots (4"heel) and wedges (5 1/2" heel)

Photoshoot!!!!!!!! I love these boots (Macy's!!! You are my kryptonite!) and I love these wedges! (Also Macy's- are we seeing a pattern here?) And this shoot was AWESOME!!

Funny story about how I bought these wedges:

Went into Macy's a month or so ago feeling down. Walked up to an obviously gay Asian kid and asked, "Are you in shoes?" Well, long story short the poor bastard said yes and I had him searching for a 'tan or natural colored wedge" (after he got me the two boots I wanted in my size) and yes, he went onto the floor and brought some shoes back to me to say, "yes" or "no" on. And then I made him follow me around the floor while I schooled him on exactly what a natural wedge is and what the variations are. (What? Gold is not natural! It's metalic! He's in shoes AND sales, someone had to teach him!) THEN that poor fool only came back with 1 boot. I had him try to look for the missing other one for like an hour while I perused purses, but it was not meant to be, he couldn't find the other boot. So I settled for two purses and two pairs of shoes that day. And when that kid's supervisor rang me up, he checked out EVERY item and said, "damn girl, you've got good taste!" ahahahahaaha, hell yes I do!!

Sunday: more wedges wearing- to give them the time they deserve!

I didn't want to wear these shoes on Easter, but the weather didn't cooperate for my other outfit (that I had all planned out by the way!) which I found personally offensive, but whatever! So I put these shoes on again because really, I only wore them in one short scene of shots, whereas the other boots were in four scenes of shots! It just wasn't fair to the wedges, don't you agree?

Monday/Today: more boots! Patent leather chocolate brown knee high boots

I look a bit like a hooker at work today, but I dont' care- I love these boots! woot woot!!

So here's to attempting to keep up with blogs- but to be fair, it isn't as much fun and going places in amazing shoes, so I make no promises on timliness, I will just attempt to keep up better ;)

Shoe Fetish Challenge: Day 16

Today's shoes: Awesome 70's Clogs (3 1/2" heel)




Everyone needs a good pair of clogs. I mean really, they are such a fun shoe! Slightly awkward to walk in every once in a while (is it just me or do your feet always want to come out of these things?) but hey, beauty is pain. Or something.


My love affair with shoes all started with Stephanie. Just Stephanie, not Grandma, not Step Grandma, just Stephanie, because she is too fabulous to be anything resembling a Grandma (just ask her, she'll tell you). When I was young my Mom had to move in with my Papa (Grandpa) Gary and his wife Stephanie a few times, and Stephanie had some AMAZING clogs. I've always wanted a pair ever since I first laid eyes on these wonderful things called clogs, and dammit, they are still cool. I don't care what anyone says.


However, CROCS are a COMPLETELY different story. Those things are HIDEOUS. Oh, and p.s.: they are freaking GARDENING SHOES! To only be used in the garden, not in public! YOU ALL LOOK LIKE IDIOTS THOSE ARE THE MOST HIDEOUS SHOES EVER MADE! VOMIT!

Shoe Fetish Challenge: Days 12-15

I have been remis in posting about my fabulous shoes! Sorry folks I've been busy struttin' my shoes around!




Day 12: comfortable street flats

These are the first and only pair of shoes I have purchased at the Gap, and I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little embarassed I bought shoes at the Gap, but they are FABULOUS! They're built like jazz shoes and it feels like you aren't wearing any- until of course you've worn them too long and the elastic on the heel starts to dig into your skin. But other than that they're great! Lol!

Day 13- FABULOUS sling backs (6" heel)

The first time I wore these shoes my 78 year old Grandmother told me to take them off so she could try them on, and she walked all around the living room in them- IT WAS AWESOME!! She is awesome and these shoes are awesome. They are a bit difficult to do any tricky manuvers in (due to the incredibly skinny and very high heel you cannot do a lot of dancing, or running, basically they're just walking/perching shoes) but they're so sexy it really doesn't even matter! I totally got hit on wearing these shoes- yow!!! I love 'em!

Day 14: Day of Rest (eat me) I didn't really leave the house on Sunday, I woke up late due to getting in really late Saturday night, and didn't wake up until afternoon, and the weather was crap so I just chilled at home. If God can have a day of rest, so can I!

Day 15: Brown Pirate boots (flats)

Today I decided to go with the flat boots as it's a bit chilly in So Cal today so I decided to go with the comfort and warmth in one delightful shoe! When I bought these shoes I tried to buy a matching pair in black but the poor workers of the Macy's shoe department (one of my FAVORITE places!) couldn't find them in my size :( so, I am still looking for a suede flat knee-length boot in black. But in the mean time, these shoes are awesome, and I actually wear them quite a bit.

More to come! Stay tuned!

Shoe Fetish Challenge: Day Eleven

Today I wore my party shoes, I love my party shoes! Woot woot party shoes! I can seriously be on my feet for nine or ten hours in these shoes and still go! ATTENTION SHOE LOVERS: This shape is another one of those "it doesn't hurt that bad to wear this style of shoe" shoes! The height in the sole compensates for the height of the heel, woohoo! I love these shoes, I've had these shoes since high school. I bought them for a prom or formal, or some sort of dance, I wore a ROCKIN skin tight dress (that I still have actually- and it still fits- snap), anyway, they have been my go to shoes ever since. As you can see I have literally imprinted myself in these shoes I wear them so often, and the straps are a little bit frayed, but you know what, they are still hot, and I will wear them until they die. PS: When I saw Jacque today the first thing she said was, "Oh, you're wearing your party shoes!" One more yeah for the party shoes! Yeah! In other news: the wearing of cute outfits, the matching of jewlery, and the actual application of make-up is still happening! Yes! I also went to beach and put on a new pair of shoes, my favorite ;) In them I had a wonderful A-HA moment: I think one of the reasons I hate exercising so much is because workout shoes are hideous and usually white. And I HATE white shoes. I find them ugly and distracting. But then, I am pretty much prejudiced against the color white in any real dominance. I find the color blaring. Too boring,to pure, ugly, distracting. Blech. Ugly color!

Shoe Fetish Challenge: Days Nine and Ten

Today's shoes: sassy pin up shoes in a lovely shade of cheetah (heel: 3") (rwar!) I love these shoes! They are old school, they are classy, they are just saucy enough, mixed in with a bit of flair (yeah obnoxious velvet bow!). Translation: these shoes are the shit! Plus! They are uber comfortable so you can stomp all over the city and go dancing and you'll be just fine!

Shoe lovers note: This shape of shoe is one the few shapes of high-heeled shoes that forms to your natural arch so you get the lower back support so your feet and your back don't hurt when you wear a shoe shaped like this. (I have a few myself. Two high heeled shoes, and a pair of boots.) You'll feel it when you put them on. Trust.

ps: I also have other shapes of shoes that are built with your body in mind that don't hurt, don't worry, I'll tell you when to look for a hurtless shoe shape!!

Yesterday's shoes: my favorite pair of Harley Davidson riding boots (oh yeah, I have more than one pair. A-oh!)

Can you Just LOOK at these boots! I die for these boots! The kick ass Harley symbol on the heel and the stitching of flames?! HELL YEAH! Of course I bought these boots. I HAD to have these boots!

Why I love Harley Davidson, and why it's okay for cute little me to sport motorcycle gear: I have pictures of me ranging from ages 1 to now of me on the back (or front) of my Dad's motorcycle or my Uncle's. My Dad and my Uncle have been riding since they were boys so bikes have always been around. They always took my sister and I on rides with them. Oh I remember the thrill of going around the block on the motorcycle when we kids! It was so exciting EVERY time, I mean we got PUMPED when we got to ride! And I always LOVE going on bike rides with my Dad, always have always will. It's so fun, and it's so nice to just spend time with him. And riding is my Dad's favorite thing. I mean it's his FAVORITE thing. So it's nice that he shares his joy with me, I really like that about our relationship. And even though my Dad has gone down recently. Twice. (And he was more upset about how busted the bike got rather than how busted up he got- OF COURSE. Men! Guh!) And even though we all know he could go down again, it's still my Dad's favorite. The day he got his first Harley was probably the happiest day of his life. (Excluding his most recent marriage and the births of my sister and I respectively of course. ::smirk::) Needless to say, he has the Harley Davidson emblem (with the eagle and ghost flames- it's pretty sick!) tattooed on his arm to prove how much he loves it and of course he has the matching sticker on his truck.

My Dad's first Harley was a Fat Boy. That is a damn good looking bike! Let me tell you! YOW! He now rides the not as cute Road King. (Sorry, MANLY. Not cute. MANLY. He hates it when I call his manly things cute like I hate that he INSISTS on wearing white socks with black shoes.) He likes it because he goes on the long runs now so he needs the comfort but I don't care I like the Fat Boy better. I've always been aesthetically minded.

Side note: He has to get them all softails bc our legs are short and it makes them lower, hehehehehehe

So, long story short: motorcycles are awesome and it's my Dad's favorite thing and I'll sport Harley gear if I want to!

Shoe Fetish Challenge: Day Eight

Today's shoes: well worn weapons ie: light pink snakeskin patterned stilettos (4" heel)

First, I would like everyone to ignore my messy desk, it's much cleaner now that I've organized it I just needed to get a good pic of my shoes! My favorite part of all my heels is usually the fact that they are all scarred, like these ones are, from driving a stick shift. I've been driving a stick shift my whole life and I love it! Unfortunately, that whole clutch/gas song and dance isn't the best for shoes- as you can see. I will argue that it gives the shoe more character and that most people don't even notice so it really doesn't matter. Not to mention that I find all the battle scars hilarious personally.

And how are the feet doing? well, I have a blister on the back of my left ankle- you know, that spot right above your heel that ALWAYS gets blisters. Yeah, right there. But other than that my feel are holding up like good little soldiers under the pressure. But will they last? Well goodness I hope so!

Shoe Fetish Challenge: Day 7

Today's shoes: white flats with pink and blue argyle skull pattern

This weekend has been about flats, because, I'm not gonna lie, five days of all heels all the time hurt my poor little footsies and they were a wee bit sore. Plus I've been running around LA and OC like a mad woman and I felt the need to do so in flats. I find it odd to wear my flats on the weekend because the weekend is when I usually wear my cute shoes.

But we have another whole week of cute shoes ahead and I have no idea what I'll wear tomorrow but I just did some laundry so I know it will be fabulous!

Week 1: success!

Week 2: bring it on!

Shoe Fetish Challenge: Days 5 & 6

Day 5: Creepers (3 1/2")

Boy oh boy do these shoes remind me of my high school days :)

I have not worn these shoes in a LONG time, and I forgot how HEAVY they are! You get used to them pretty quickly but I was not as graceful as I usually am! I may have been stumbling around a little, but they are so awesome! I used to wear these shoes all the time in high school, and I LOVE them!! I also tend to wear them in the rain because I can just right walk over puddles in these monsters- which is mighty convenient let me tell you, especially as I hate the cold and the wet almost as much as I hate mornings; but despite the rain there were no large puddles to step over, so they were left to be merely fashionable rather than functionable. However, on the bright side, I did get a few compliments on them- and who doesn't love to hear about how cute your shoes are, I mean really. AAAhhh, I love my creepers, they are so awesome <3 I am so glad I wore them!

Day 6: Chucks (flats)

The best tennis shoe ever invented (and I'll probably own a pair until I die).

These are the only tennis shoes worth wearing in my opinion. High tops, low tops, black, red, green, doesn't matter- just buy these shoes, they are THE BEST. It doesn't feel like you're wearing shoes at all but they protect your feet from all necessary elements. Well, execpt water. We've all trudged through rain in soaked Chucks a time or two. Or maybe it's just a SoCal thing. But I bring my Chucks everywhere. I've walked through Italy, London, Amsterdam, San Francisco, and New York City in Chucks and I'll wear them loyally until I die in every city I visit.

As you can see, this particular pair (I think I've gone through about four pairs now and will need another pair soon- I'm going for high tops this time- I think I'm ready!) has been WORN. They say these boots are made for walkin, well these Chucks are made for walkin! I'd say 90% of the time when I have to wear shoes rather than my normal Rainbows/sandals I slip into my chucks. This particular pair has already done through the original laces and I had to replace them with the black ones you see here. Also, as you can see, these shoes have seen so much action the soles are ripping and the white is all scratched and yellow, but really, Chucks are meant to be dirty. It gives them character. They never look right when they're brand new to me for some reason.

If these shoes could tell stores... hehehe, good thing they can't!

Anyway, I've slipped into my internal Rock Girl the last couple of days, so it will be interesting as I make myself wear a different pair of shoes how I get out of it. Not to mention that week 1 is almost at an end, this challenge is coming along nicely so far I would say! Now, what shoes should I wear tomorrow?

Hmm....

Shoe Fetish Challenge: Day Four

Today's shoes: boots with attitude! (heel, 4") Aaaahh, my first day of boots :) How I love boots, they are so awesome! You get all the sauciness of a high heel, the warmth of pants, AND ankle support, what's not to love? Plus you get to wear socks and that gives you some extra cushion against obnoxious shoe rubbing and the pain of heels. Apart from ridiculous stilettos I think boots may be my favorite footwear (Well, of footwear that is actually shoes anyway; my hippy heart loves bare feet and sandals, but if I have to wear shoes I want them to be HOT HOT HOT!!!). In other news, this whole actually look cute thing seems to be working. My boss once again demanded to see my shoes (and that's a lot coming from a man), one of my coworkers (female) told me I looked hot, and walking out of traffic court (why there are speed limits is beyond me. See previous blogs for my thoughts on traffic laws. I'll give you a hint: I think they're horse shit!) I even got an "Oh my." Granted this was from a delinquent and a pervert but hey, delinquents and perverts are people to! hahahahahaha, but hey, at least SOMEONE outside my daily life noticed I look good- maybe in the future some awesome hot guy will talk to me because I look awesome, and if not, at least I know my fabulousness is getting out there in the universe! I hope you can handle it universe, because I'm just getting started! Four days down and about forty five/fifty to go! Woohoo!

I LOVE SHOES!!!! This is so much fun it's gross!

I also love fashion, see today's outfit (once again built around my shoes- of course!):

Analysis: yowza! The skirt is about three inches too long for my short status, but it's all good because I don't feel like hemming it.

Who's ready for day five? Because I am!

Shoe Fetish Challenge: Day Three

Today's shoes: turquoise patterned wedges (3 3/4" heels)

Today was once again adorable wedges day! Hooray for adorable wedges! And my coworkers are starting to get stoked on my shoes- which is awesome! One of the guys told me he was "loving all the cool shoes" and my boss asked if I would still be wearing fun shoes when he got back from his trip :) When I told him about this challenge he asked how many shoes I had and about how long it would take- and I think I have about 52 pairs of shoes (ish) right now (mind you this is after I down-sized to move in with my ex- of course I've also bought a few pairs since then ;) so I guess on that score we're about even) so I would definitely still be rockin my shit when he gets back next week- and when he leaves again next month, haha. Of course he choked on how many pairs of shoes I have, but you know what? You can't put a price on how fashion makes you feel- and you know what? I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and bright!!! hehehehehehehe

Heels, cute outfits, and jewelery- woohoo! How do you not feel pretty with all that fab on I ask you? Plus heels help with posture and I've been rockin high heels so I actually feel tall! And I never feel tall because I am pequeno! Being 5'3" and feeling tall is always nice because it is SO RARE! But anyway, thus far this experiment is working out well (yes, three days in is a bit premature, sue me) I get to wear all my cute things! Why didn't I think of this before? Oh yeah... my enmity for mornings has gotten in the way, but I am persevering!

Exhibit A:

Analysis: casual cute! You can't tell but my white flower necklace matches the white flowers on my shoes, paired with pearl earrings and cute make-up- holla! Understated but cute.

Now here's a question I'm sure ladies will wonder: how are my feet holding up?.

Well, they're a bit sore, and have been rubbed a bit in places they aren't usually rubbed, so they have tender spots, but who cares! My shoes are fab and I'm willing to suffer! (At the moment- of course I have tennis shoes and flats as well, so I figure I'll work those in when the pain starts.)

Shoe Fetish Challenge (Guess this means I should get a pedicure!)

I LOVE shoes!

Let's just get that out in the open. I will never have enough of them no matter how many I have. I could have a pair of shoes for every outfit! In fact, that would be ideal. The problem with this is I am NOT a morning person so I usually can't be bothered to look cute in the morning (or to be a nice person before coffee). There are no available guys at my work and- let's be honest here- even if there were, I still wouldn't care. I never wear make-up and I rock jeans, a tee-shirt, and my Rainbows (aka: the best sandals that money can buy) every day; so I usually end up looking like a damn hot mess. Exhibit A: Analysis: not cute! comfy, cozy even, but NOT cute.

Also, I'm single so I should probably step up the attractive factor (I have a strange vision of peacock feathers whenever I think of that), and I have all of these wonderful beautiful shoes that I wear when I go out or don't have to be somewhere first thing in the morning, but shoes are meant to be worn! Shoes are meant to be seen! Also, you can't rock awesome shoes without an awesome coordinating outfit, and it's almost impossible to feel down when you're outfit is bangin! All that being said, I have decided to wear a different pair of shoes every day until I have worn all my shoes. (This may take a while... probably about two months, I have A LOT of shoes.) I started yesterday, however I didn't know if I would stick to it or not, but here we are, day two and on the second pair of shoes, so it's official- I'm rockin' my footwear bitches!!!!! And here's what I've rocked so far:

Day 1: turquoise suede stilettos (3 1/2" heel) Day 2: rockin wedges (4 1/2" heel)

So let the Shoe Fetish Challenge begin! All hot shoes all the time! This is going to be awesome!

(Would anyone like to join me for a pedicure?)

Trouble with a Captial "T"

So, I don't know how it happens, but I always start out with the best intentions and then everything gets botched and I end up in trouble. My Sister insists it's because we were born into a family of crazies and we never had a chance- I'm beginning to think that she may be right... So last night... My sister was working near my work (she works for the Red Cross so she works somewhere different every day) and when she got off she came into my office. I was magically able to go home soon after she arrived, and my dance rehearsal for that night was cancelled- which left me with a night of nothing ahead of me- which is when I tend to get into trouble. But I digress. So, with an open schedule ahead of us we preceded to get not sober, then headed to the pool with our beers in hand, and more beers in our purses- oh yeah- we're that classy! So we drank and chatted and laughed poolside until the sun went down- then we went back to the pad. Once there, we decided to watch 'Cry Baby' because my sister is obsessed and demanded that I watch it (it ended up being pretty funny). But then we realized we were hungry and I didn't want to cook- plus it was taco Tuesday at Del Taco! Woo-hoo! So, Julie turned down walking to the Del Taco (it was right on the corner) and so she drove us. To get to the Del Taco, it's easiest to pass it then make a U-Turn- a U-Turn which, as it turns out, was an illegal U-Turn, whoopsie! So we see the flashing lights in the rear and we start freaking out a little (the beers and fear of a DUI started to kick in right about then...) and when the cop rolls up he informs us of the illegal status of our U-Turn, then asks us to get out of the car (we did NOT pee our pants I am proud to say!) and walks us to the sidewalk where he shows us the no U-Turn sign (which was on the island before the turn, not on the island in front of the turn- we just didn't see it! Arrgghhh!!!). Long story short, we almost died from fear but were let off with a warning. At that point, Del Taco felt cursed so I said, "To hell with it, let's just go to Carl's, it's across from my complex. So we head to Carl's (which requires another U-Turn to enter- EEK!) and while we were waiting to make the U-turn I discovered a spider crawling on the INSIDE of the windshield. Both of us are deathly afraid of spiders- ps. So now we are freaking out about the spider, and freaking out because the cop was probably still around and now we're REALLY going to jail. Well, the spider gets it, and we drive on. Julie wants me to throw the squished spider napkin out the window, but I'm afraid to get pulled over for littering. So we're driving in a direction that won't take us to food at this point, and we're too full of crazy to keep driving, so we decide to give up and go home (which needed yet another U-Turn- AAAGGGHHHH!!! WHY GOD!) with nothing and just order a pizza- which ended up being far more difficult than it needed to be. Moral of the story- without ever understanding how, I always end up in trouble. And not little amounts of trouble either, trouble with a capital "T" trouble. I should change my middle name accordingly.

Doing Just Fine

I have a lot of stuff going on in my life at the moment- both work related and personal, and it's a lot for just one person to handle. But why is it that when people ask how we are doing we always say, "fine"- even when we aren't? Is it pride? Pure stubbornness? The inability to admit that we need help? Some sick combination of all three? It's probably the sick combination of the three for me to be quite honest.

Every time I tell people that I'm doing "fine" I always think of the movie The Italian Job. Thanks to that movie I have discovered the meaning of the word: fine.

Freaked out
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional


So really, when I tell people I'm doing fine, I guess I really am.

Diversity or Encouraged Racism?

I work in the recruitment business, and OFCCP compliance (encouraged affirmative action in hiring/recruiting) seems to be a "hot" term that is losing a bit of it's steam, however people and recruiters are still posting their job requisitions to "diversity boards" with enthusiasm (in fact, if you hold a contract with the Federal Government you HAVE to post your jobs to "diversity job boards") such as 'National Society for Black Engineers,'Society of Women Engineers,' 'Black Women Lawyers Association,' 'LatinosForHire,' 'Asian American Bar Association of New York,' 'Minority Nurse.com,' 'Disabled Persons,''Black Actuaries' (these are just a few, the list goes on and on and on)- but these job boards are exclusive by name alone let alone their posting policies. Shouldn't our target audience for jobs be qualified candidates who are out of work or in need of a new opportunity? Why does race matter? Why are minorities targeted? Isn't the point of overcoming racism to not see someone as a member of a specific race or minority group but as a PERSON?

"We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal." Our country was founded on this idea, it's in our Declaration of Independence, and just as we did before the Civil Rights Movement we're ignoring that "self-evident" truth. When recruiters and HR professionals are looking for people to hire in their workplace they are using the idea that they need to fill a "race quota" to ensure that they are, in fact, an equal opportunity employer, when the idea of equality for all would be better upheld by looking at all the candidates equally and making a decision based upon work experience or education rather than taking race as a top priority above these necessary skills. When looking at resumes, or searching for candidates, shouldn't we be looking for QUALIFIED candidates rather than MINORITY candidates? Am I the only one who sees the failure of logic in this Affirmative Action/OFCCP Compliance concept?

Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream, "that [his] four little children [would] one day live in a nation where they [would] not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." And unfortunately, all these years later, they are still living in a nation where they are being judged by the color of their skin rather than the content of the resume. Whether or not they can skew this information in their favor is not the material point, because they can, people can use the fact that they are a minority to be hired over a possibly more qualified "non-minority" candidate. The point is that the color of their skin is still a hot topic, a must know, and point of JUDGEMENT that determines whether or not you will even be considered for a position.

Is anyone else seeing signs reading, "Irish need not apply" or hear ignorant mouths saying, "we don't serve your kind here?"

Even the idea of a "minority" group is pure ludicrous. EVERYONE is a member of a minority group. Any time you are taking one specific thing into account against a whole group of things, you are going to get a minority. One piece of an apple is not the entire apple, my race is only a small part of who and what I am, it has NOTHING to do with what I am capable of, and when one piece of data is pitted against the rest of the qualifying data, of course the outcome of the test is going to be a minority, because in the vast scheme of things, that is only a part of the bigger picture.

In order to become truly inclusive and accepting we must stop putting people into categories of race, or minorities. By looking at everyone equally you will automatically come upon a diverse workplace because you are openly accepting all applicants. The moment you begin taking other matters into account you are skewing your own results. Denying someone a job, the right to work, or to even consider their application based upon race IS RACISM! To specifically target a certain minority is EXCLUSIVE and RACIST. If I put my resume on 'Black Actuaries.com' it would be taken down for no other reason than my not being the "right" race for that site- THAT IS RACISM!

These compliance laws are encouraging racism in our workplace, they are keeping the idea that "race matters" alive. How are we supposed to look past the cover and read the book when no one stops talking about the importance of the cover and no one seems to think reading the book is as important as the color chosen to bind it?

If that wasn't enough to convince you, see the ad below that was advertised on a "diversity" site: